Here are seven reasons why Man vs. Food is better than the royal wedding:
- Man vs. Food makes my eating habits look relatively healthy. The royal wedding featured a lot of people who probably don’t eat half a packet of biscuits in one go (like I’ve been known to do).
- Man vs. Food has ad breaks every fifteen minutes. The royal wedding didn’t even have one. What if I’d cared enough to hold in my pee until the end?
- Man vs. Food is on for at least four hours today, making it perfect for binge watching. I’m pretty sure Harry and Meghan aren’t going to marry again today.
- Didn’t see a single burger or pizza slice at the royal wedding.
- Adam Richman does his own commentary. I didn’t care much for the constant narration about the weather and crowd sizes over the royal wedding footage. Maybe they could incorporate The Office-style cutaways where the royal family tried to be polite about the enthusiastic American preacher and the Queen told us how she just wanted to go home to her dogs.
- No fun imaginary scenes at the royal wedding. I just saw an episode of MVF where Adam Richman hit a meatball into the sky so hard it exploded during a baseball game. Royal wedding, step up.
- No homeless people suffered due to Man vs. Food. No-one was kicked out of a town, no-one had their possessions confiscated by the police, and no-one lost a shelter they’d been forced into by the same event.
I hope Harry and Meghan have a happy marriage but honestly, unless they have a competition to see who can eat the most spicy chilli at the reception, I’m going to stick to Man vs. Food.